The Moving Experience -

Moving may be one of the most stress producing experiences that your family will ever have to face. Saying goodbye to friends, family, and familiar places is extremely difficult. The most important thing that a parent(s) can do for their children is to have a good attitude regarding the move. Your positive attitude typically is reflected onto your children. Here is some other advice to make your transition easier:

· Make time for your children before, during, and after the move. Moving day is an especially busy and trying day, but try to take time to explore your new house with your children. This will help your children to become familiar and aquainted with your new surroundings.

· Tell your children about the move as soon as possible. Explain clearly to your children why the move is necessary. Talk about the move in full detail, so your children can fully grasp what is going on and why it is occurring. It would also be helpful to read books about the upcoming move.

· Help your children to express their feelings regarding the move. Children express their feelings in varying ways. Allow your children to express their feelings in the ways which are the most comfortable to them (talking, drawing, painting, coloring, playing with dolls…). Ask your children what they are feeling as they are drawing … This may give you valuable insight into what your child is thinking regarding the move.

· Make a memory book prior to the move. Make a scrapbook or decorate a box filled with fun memories of family and friends (their school, their old house, their friends…). Allow your children to look at these on moving day and after you have settled into your new house. This may help to ease and lessen some of your children's sadness.

· Familiarize children with the new area. Look up interesting sites of the new city on the internet. Show your children maps and pictures of the city. Describe and discuss advantages of living at the new location (lake, mountains…).

· Make the move fun. Some families who are moving to far away locations may plan a vacation along the way to their new home. It may also be advantageous to plan a "vacation day" once you have settled in your new city. You could visit an amusement park and/or a musuem. This may help your family to feel more aquainted with the city, and it may help all of the family members to reconnect with each other after the move.

· Expect some setbacks. Children may revert back to old behaviors following the move (children who were sleeping through the night may no longer do so, children who are potty trained may have some accidents, and children may become more clingy and dependent). This is common, and it is their way of coping. Be patient and reassuring. Be assured that this stage will pass. Children need to know that the family home and location may change, but the family will remain the same.

· Get involved and seek out familiar activities. Sign up for activities that your children like and that help to make them feel included (girl scouts, church, YMCA…). Once in these classes, this is a great way for your children to learn a new skill while meeting new friends. Make sure that you take time to listen to them as they share their experiences regarding their new classes and their new friends.

· Give the move time. It will take time to adapt to their new environment (this can take from 6 months to a year). Children can initially feel as though they lost part of their identity (best reader in the class, fastest runner….) and it may take time to feel that connection again. It will eventually happen, but in the meantime, be supportive and positive. In no time at all, they will be back to their old self.

Last updated on September 9, 2005

Web Comments to:
Jane Petersen - jepeters@mpsomaha.org